We are PERFECT!!!

This article is my musing in general. Of course...It’s my personal opinion and it’s mostly influenced by the various experiences that i have had in life.

When I was sent on an assignment to the US, I got the opportunity to work with many women managers. Many of them were heading teams, doing projects or were in the top layers of management. Majority of them came across as very strong and independent women who were happy with their progress and were aspiring for higher positions. One of my colleagues was very interested in knowing as to how many women managers were there in the IT section that I worked. At that point of time, I was the only woman manager at that level. She was a bit taken aback. She wanted to know if it was bias against women managers in India or was it due to some other reason that majority were not part of higher management/leadership positions as compared to men. I explained to her that it may be due to many reasons such as opting to take a break for being at home with children, maternity phases, cultural upbringing, etc. It’s not possible to arrive at one particular reason to cite the lower numbers of women in the management hierarchy. It wasn’t that we lacked women who had leadership qualities or requisite education to take on higher roles within the Organization. It’s all about choices that you consciously make in life.

I would state that women have always stood up to what they believed could make their life more enriching. We don’t need to define success by just using progress made in career as a measuring scale. Sacrificing career on their own accord so that they can take on the responsibility of bringing up children to be more mature & responsible individuals of society, can also be considered as a measure of success. Women with interests in arts and crafts come across as folks who are happy in their own personal space. Why would we abstain from regarding a 'fulfilling' life as a measure of success? My belief is that we have got used to measuring happiness, 'numerically'. We use 'career growth charts', 'salary hikes' and 'appraisals' to measure selves and our successes in life. There are many ‘perfect mortals’ in this world, who boost their own insecure egos by influencing those thought processes that aim at making  women think that they always need to step on a scale...Be it a weighing scale at home or an appraisal scale at work. That’s the two edged sword here. You need to be perfect while at home or at work. If we go with that thinking, then most women have already scored higher. I am referring to those folks who cannot manage their homes without gentle reminders from their  working 'better halves' who balance work and home simultaneously. I do agree that getting back to a job may be difficult after a break but it’s not impossible. There’s always the option of upgrading your skills while at home. Taking on a ‘work from home’ option or a part time job are options available for those who cannot be happy with just being a homemaker. Life provides options. You just need to find one that suits your purpose!  Any activity that spices up your soul and gives you a sense of satisfaction should be considered. You may be disappointed if you fail,but you are doomed if you don't try!!!

I am not totally convinced with the ideology that you need to dress or act in a certain manner to ‘grow’ in an organization. Guess it may be because of my own personal experience wherein  capabilities were judged rather than my looks. But again, it cannot be generalized as a thumb rule for all companies. But if you do find yourself in that situation, it’s better to quit and look for a job in a company which lays emphasis on ethical behavior and promotions are provided on the grounds of merit only!! Unless you have the courage to expose the person who indulges in unethical behavior, it’s always wise to move on. Gain popular support to officially complain against the person who tries to make unwanted advances. But yeah…always have enough evidence to back your claim. It’s strange but maligning the character of a woman seems easy in our society. Kudos goes out to the NGOs who stand up for women’s causes. It’s difficult to be heard when you are on your own.

Another area where I have heard snide remarks are around women being overly emotional and incapable of making firm decisions. Hoot!!! Why is 'emotional intelligence' ridiculed is something that I have never understood. As most experts confirm, it is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection and influence. When we display high EQ, (emotional quotient) we are able to wade through human interactions in such a way that good things happen not just for you, at someone's expense, but for everyone. We are mostly not included in decisions that are made at beer bars or smoking areas. I guess most women were forced to develop higher EQ than men, simply in order to survive. In the absence of holding positions of authority, whether in the family or beyond, most women have become experts in multi-tasking which involves all the emotional strength that it would take for tasks to get completed as per requirements.  Studies indicate that IQ skills need to be balanced with elements of Emotional Intelligence – honesty, trust, integrity, intuition, imagination, resilience, purpose, commitment, influence, motivation, sensitivity, empathy, humor, courage, conscience and humility. Most with high IQ, but low "EI", who sorely  hurt others with "joking" remarks or criticism, lower their team’s morale, who climb the growth ladder by stepping over someone, who cannot take criticism themselves, are those who are destined to "lead" a crippled team — or no team at all. They may ride the wave of success to begin with but at some point of time, they will come down crashing like a pack of cards. We cannot work alone in any environment. As Aristotle would state, ‘Man is a social animal’. Team work should never be considered as contemptible.

In life, there may be many who’d try to hurt you personally or professionally. But visualize it in this way...they are threatened by you and hence want to ensure that you are hidden and ‘not heard’.  Shouldn’t that itself give you a ‘high’ in life? Someone thinks you are important :). As was stated, it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

So to sum up..'We are PERFECT'. It's not what you call me, but what I answer to!!!! (An African Proverb).

A woman is the full circle.
Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.

~ Diane Mariechild