Are they made in heaven? :)
A friend said that it would be interesting to read about the experiences that I faced as part of the arranged marriage scenario. LOL! I thought to myself..the experiences were limited. That kind of explains the single status. Oh well...it wasn't all that bad. It was funny.
I was always the weird one in the Malayalee community set up. While majority of my classmates were dreaming of their future husbands, my dream was to travel and see the world or work in the US/have my own little apartment with French windows and white curtains. Mmmmm..and those dim lights set on beautiful chandeliers. I was in love with most of the apartments at Netherlands, while I was there on a project. They were beautiful. Sigh..I am also partial towards white picket fences. I'd have to be a millionaire for owning that kind of a home in Mumbai. But if wishes were horses, I would ride. But... you can always dream. At least, you have the satisfaction of owning them in your dreams. LOL! It's least expensive when you think in those terms!!! There i go rambling again...
Coming to the arranged marriage system, I was the lucky one (ahem..this thought is not shared by my family). My sister got married late. That gave me enough time to get to a decent place in terms of my career. Today, I have great friends who are supportive and who are always there when i need them. I finished doing all the competitive tests which I needed to complete. I travelled to a few places. Life rocks!!!
I did meet a few losers as part of the arranged marriage woes. The first one turned out to be someone who was intending to marry so that he could pay off the dues on his new apartment. Any man who believes that he can sponge on his wife's family is a loser with a big 'L'. Funny part is that he didn't have any scruples in announcing the same as well. I shooed him off within minutes. He must be making some other woman miserable right now. Best of luck to that poor being, whoever that is! The next man who turned up was someone who wanted to be a house husband. He boasted about the houses he owned in his native town. When I checked on his current apartment address, he sheepishly informed me that he was looking to stay with the wife's family after marriage. Yeah, right! I wasn't intending to start free boarding and lodging facilities at my dad's home. During the conversation, at some point of time, I think he was threatened by some inner insecurity. He went on to state that he had a backbone and it couldn't be twisted. LOL! Well mister! You weren't worth the effort! I don't have to inform about the outcome of this one. It is predictable. Next guy was a typical sales guy. He portrayed himself as a liberal man with a great attitude. I liked his sister but obviously, I needed to speak to the guy. His attire came across as someone who didn't really spend time on himself. His shirt was stinky, the collars were not done up correctly. He was one big mess. I think he just came to visit in the midst of his work engagements. Another thing to do within time lines, i guess! No luck with this one as well! I don't have the time for smooth talkers. They'll be 'all talk, no work'. Who wants that kind of liability! Then there was one man who had huge feet. His shoes seemed like it belonged to 'Hulk'. He was huge. I was scared at the sight of him. I never even bothered to talk to him. It was too scary! Hmm..who else? There was a divorcee whose ex wife had spoken of her lover during their first night. What a nice conversation to have. He was known to the family. So mom thought that i should consider. Oh well..I wasn't very convinced. Then there was a short guy. As soon as he saw me, he realised that I'd loom over him. LOL! So he disappeared as soon as he could. There was another guy with a nervous temperament. He wouldn't look you in the eye when he spoke. I was very sure that he's hiding something. Oh well!! He started the conversation by saying this.."I don't know if you cook, clean and wash but you'll have to do these chores if you get married to me". Really! Why wasn't his family looking for a maid, I wonder! Maybe, getting a wife works out cheaper. Later on, we did hear about his marriage to his girlfriend (she was in the picture but he was being forced by his parents to marry within the community). He was also a sad candidate. Then there was this one guy from Canada. Based on his appearance, it seemed like he had some skin disorder. He was a nice person, I have to admit. What he didn't have in terms of looks, he did make up in terms of his cheerful disposition. But his mother and sister didn't take a liking for me. In India, you marry the entire family. Not just the guy! To be frank, I wasn't very happy to go ahead with this. Luckily, they themselves rejected me from their end. Tee hee! Blessings in disguise!!!
We have to be happy with the person we choose. Unless that happens, it won't work out. My 'happy go lucky' attitude is not in line with those who expect me to be sad and disappointed over my 'spinster' status. They can take a walk! It's always about me and what i want out of life! Not about you and the societal norms.
I am neither for arranged marriages or against it. All I am saying is that it's not meant for those who have a mind of their own. Be happy with what you have and strive to complete your ambitions. Rest will fall in place. My motto in life!!!
Until my next silly rambling....
Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was always the weird one in the Malayalee community set up. While majority of my classmates were dreaming of their future husbands, my dream was to travel and see the world or work in the US/have my own little apartment with French windows and white curtains. Mmmmm..and those dim lights set on beautiful chandeliers. I was in love with most of the apartments at Netherlands, while I was there on a project. They were beautiful. Sigh..I am also partial towards white picket fences. I'd have to be a millionaire for owning that kind of a home in Mumbai. But if wishes were horses, I would ride. But... you can always dream. At least, you have the satisfaction of owning them in your dreams. LOL! It's least expensive when you think in those terms!!! There i go rambling again...
Coming to the arranged marriage system, I was the lucky one (ahem..this thought is not shared by my family). My sister got married late. That gave me enough time to get to a decent place in terms of my career. Today, I have great friends who are supportive and who are always there when i need them. I finished doing all the competitive tests which I needed to complete. I travelled to a few places. Life rocks!!!
I did meet a few losers as part of the arranged marriage woes. The first one turned out to be someone who was intending to marry so that he could pay off the dues on his new apartment. Any man who believes that he can sponge on his wife's family is a loser with a big 'L'. Funny part is that he didn't have any scruples in announcing the same as well. I shooed him off within minutes. He must be making some other woman miserable right now. Best of luck to that poor being, whoever that is! The next man who turned up was someone who wanted to be a house husband. He boasted about the houses he owned in his native town. When I checked on his current apartment address, he sheepishly informed me that he was looking to stay with the wife's family after marriage. Yeah, right! I wasn't intending to start free boarding and lodging facilities at my dad's home. During the conversation, at some point of time, I think he was threatened by some inner insecurity. He went on to state that he had a backbone and it couldn't be twisted. LOL! Well mister! You weren't worth the effort! I don't have to inform about the outcome of this one. It is predictable. Next guy was a typical sales guy. He portrayed himself as a liberal man with a great attitude. I liked his sister but obviously, I needed to speak to the guy. His attire came across as someone who didn't really spend time on himself. His shirt was stinky, the collars were not done up correctly. He was one big mess. I think he just came to visit in the midst of his work engagements. Another thing to do within time lines, i guess! No luck with this one as well! I don't have the time for smooth talkers. They'll be 'all talk, no work'. Who wants that kind of liability! Then there was one man who had huge feet. His shoes seemed like it belonged to 'Hulk'. He was huge. I was scared at the sight of him. I never even bothered to talk to him. It was too scary! Hmm..who else? There was a divorcee whose ex wife had spoken of her lover during their first night. What a nice conversation to have. He was known to the family. So mom thought that i should consider. Oh well..I wasn't very convinced. Then there was a short guy. As soon as he saw me, he realised that I'd loom over him. LOL! So he disappeared as soon as he could. There was another guy with a nervous temperament. He wouldn't look you in the eye when he spoke. I was very sure that he's hiding something. Oh well!! He started the conversation by saying this.."I don't know if you cook, clean and wash but you'll have to do these chores if you get married to me". Really! Why wasn't his family looking for a maid, I wonder! Maybe, getting a wife works out cheaper. Later on, we did hear about his marriage to his girlfriend (she was in the picture but he was being forced by his parents to marry within the community). He was also a sad candidate. Then there was this one guy from Canada. Based on his appearance, it seemed like he had some skin disorder. He was a nice person, I have to admit. What he didn't have in terms of looks, he did make up in terms of his cheerful disposition. But his mother and sister didn't take a liking for me. In India, you marry the entire family. Not just the guy! To be frank, I wasn't very happy to go ahead with this. Luckily, they themselves rejected me from their end. Tee hee! Blessings in disguise!!!
We have to be happy with the person we choose. Unless that happens, it won't work out. My 'happy go lucky' attitude is not in line with those who expect me to be sad and disappointed over my 'spinster' status. They can take a walk! It's always about me and what i want out of life! Not about you and the societal norms.
I am neither for arranged marriages or against it. All I am saying is that it's not meant for those who have a mind of their own. Be happy with what you have and strive to complete your ambitions. Rest will fall in place. My motto in life!!!
Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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