"To understand your parents love you must raise children yourself"
I am back to my musings again!!!
This time it's about this article that I read on the Yahoo website which was essentially about a teen who was suing her parents for not paying her tuition fees. My musings are not intended to mock any culture or glorify the one that I come from. But it's a very interesting comparison. It is fascinating to note the differences in the way that a child is brought up in different countries. We were sitting in this restaurant the other day and a friend was telling us on how she asked her daughter to sleep in her own room as there was not enough space for the dog and the kid. This was when her husband was traveling and when she had the bed to herself. Back home, my cousin sister made her kids sleep with her and her husband since as per her, there was greater emotional bonding by doing this. In my country, the entire educational expenses are borne by their parents. The teen wouldn't need to pay back any of the money as it would insult his parents if he did that. The only way he'd be able to repay them is by taking care of them, once he or she is financially independent. In many Western cultures, individuals are expected to look after themselves as soon as they are 18. So you will find them juggling their time between jobs and college. This essentially makes them self reliant at an early age. The youngsters have no obligation to look after the parents since the latter are responsible for their own living. In their old age, they move to retirement homes and mingle with other folks of their own age group. They are invited to their children's homes during special occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas Day etc. On the contrary, in developing countries, the government cannot perform the role of a welfare state. There is a shortage of financial funds, good old age homes, medical facilities etc. So the youngsters take care of their old parents. An extended family which includes grandparents is the typical scenario. Parents help to look after their grand kids when the children are at work. I think this is also because of the religious teachings of Hinduism. In Hindu families, respect for parents and elders is emphasized. Hindus believe that bringing up children is a religious act-the Dharma or duty of every parent. For children, the parents are therefore divine. Hindus consider the service of one's parents to be a pious and divine duty and preventing any one from carrying that duty is considered to be a sinful act.The concept of Mother worship is deeply ingrained in the Hindu way of life and the mother is considered as the first Guru or teacher of the child.
We grow up hearing stories of how Shravan Kumar who carried his old disabled parents on his shoulders and how he had sacrificed his life for them or how Lord Vithoba was asked by Pundalik to wait outside latter's home since he was busy attending to his old parent's needs. These stories remain with you forever.
In Hindu families it is a common custom to bow down to touch the feet of elders and parents. Imagine doing that in another culture? Lol! They'd think you have dropped something or are trying to steal their footwear or that you are essentially whacky by nature. I had mumbled a lot when I had to explain to my German client about the gesture related to touching his hand and then touching my closed eyes after I had accidentally kicked his leg. I could have simply said that it was meant to be an apology or a sign of respect since my foot has touched his leg by mistake. I just mumbled for the right wordings. Oh well... He was happy with whatever explanation he finally got from me. No worries! Here is a link to an article which explains why we touch the feet and in which circumstances. (http://www.sanskritimagazine.com/rituals_and_practices/why-we-dont-touch-books-and-people-with-feet/).
Coming back to this Western article, it also cited that parents who bankroll their children’s expenses are doing their children a disservice. Such children may enter adulthood with a limited sense of how to manage finances, or be ill-equipped to make financial decisions on their own. That's an exaggeration. You learn from experiences. When you watch your parents toil the entire time to ensure that their kids go to good schools and are assured of quality education, it is very unlikely that you'd go on a spending spree. We need to look at such situations on a case to case basis. Even in the case of this teen, her parents did have college funds saved for her but since she had opted to move out as she didn't want to follow rules or do home chores and from the looks of it, she had a disruptive boyfriend who they didn't approve of, the parents are right in taking a decision where they refused to fund her. If she could take a decision by herself to move out, she is very well equipped to take care of herself. I think she'll realize the hardships they went through to raise her when she becomes a mother herself. That's what my mother would say when we gave her a tough time. It will be payback time when your kids behave badly. That kind of did put a stop to the exhibited behavior. We are inherently fatalists. We believe in Karma, rite? Who would want to be bad to their parents and inherit the same behavior from their own kids!! Not me!
Parenting is such a huge task. Kudos to all those mothers and fathers for raising their wonderful children. When the yellow leaf falls, the green leaf laughs without realizing that he is headed in the same direction. Let us all do our duties to those who are elder to us and thereby be assured that our basket of good karma will take us a long way ahead in the circle of life.
"As long as you have the blessing of your parents, it does not matter, even if you live in the mountains".
This time it's about this article that I read on the Yahoo website which was essentially about a teen who was suing her parents for not paying her tuition fees. My musings are not intended to mock any culture or glorify the one that I come from. But it's a very interesting comparison. It is fascinating to note the differences in the way that a child is brought up in different countries. We were sitting in this restaurant the other day and a friend was telling us on how she asked her daughter to sleep in her own room as there was not enough space for the dog and the kid. This was when her husband was traveling and when she had the bed to herself. Back home, my cousin sister made her kids sleep with her and her husband since as per her, there was greater emotional bonding by doing this. In my country, the entire educational expenses are borne by their parents. The teen wouldn't need to pay back any of the money as it would insult his parents if he did that. The only way he'd be able to repay them is by taking care of them, once he or she is financially independent. In many Western cultures, individuals are expected to look after themselves as soon as they are 18. So you will find them juggling their time between jobs and college. This essentially makes them self reliant at an early age. The youngsters have no obligation to look after the parents since the latter are responsible for their own living. In their old age, they move to retirement homes and mingle with other folks of their own age group. They are invited to their children's homes during special occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas Day etc. On the contrary, in developing countries, the government cannot perform the role of a welfare state. There is a shortage of financial funds, good old age homes, medical facilities etc. So the youngsters take care of their old parents. An extended family which includes grandparents is the typical scenario. Parents help to look after their grand kids when the children are at work. I think this is also because of the religious teachings of Hinduism. In Hindu families, respect for parents and elders is emphasized. Hindus believe that bringing up children is a religious act-the Dharma or duty of every parent. For children, the parents are therefore divine. Hindus consider the service of one's parents to be a pious and divine duty and preventing any one from carrying that duty is considered to be a sinful act.The concept of Mother worship is deeply ingrained in the Hindu way of life and the mother is considered as the first Guru or teacher of the child.
Coming back to this Western article, it also cited that parents who bankroll their children’s expenses are doing their children a disservice. Such children may enter adulthood with a limited sense of how to manage finances, or be ill-equipped to make financial decisions on their own. That's an exaggeration. You learn from experiences. When you watch your parents toil the entire time to ensure that their kids go to good schools and are assured of quality education, it is very unlikely that you'd go on a spending spree. We need to look at such situations on a case to case basis. Even in the case of this teen, her parents did have college funds saved for her but since she had opted to move out as she didn't want to follow rules or do home chores and from the looks of it, she had a disruptive boyfriend who they didn't approve of, the parents are right in taking a decision where they refused to fund her. If she could take a decision by herself to move out, she is very well equipped to take care of herself. I think she'll realize the hardships they went through to raise her when she becomes a mother herself. That's what my mother would say when we gave her a tough time. It will be payback time when your kids behave badly. That kind of did put a stop to the exhibited behavior. We are inherently fatalists. We believe in Karma, rite? Who would want to be bad to their parents and inherit the same behavior from their own kids!! Not me!
Parenting is such a huge task. Kudos to all those mothers and fathers for raising their wonderful children. When the yellow leaf falls, the green leaf laughs without realizing that he is headed in the same direction. Let us all do our duties to those who are elder to us and thereby be assured that our basket of good karma will take us a long way ahead in the circle of life.
"As long as you have the blessing of your parents, it does not matter, even if you live in the mountains".
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